More than Just Words!
In Australian metropolitan centres we find ourselves increasingly in a situation in which we find ourselves mixing with people who come from very different cultural backgrounds from the ones in which we were raised. You may have heard of the high school teacher who was trying to get her 13 year old students to understand how it must have felt when the indigenous people of Australia first encountered British settlers. “How would you feel,” she asked, “if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn’t you be a bit scared?” “No,” one boy answered, “I’d just figure it was my sister’s date.”
It is a fact of life that for many migrants English is a second language so it is not difficult to see the necessity of language churches for first generation migrants. You may have heard of the foreign tourist who was looking for directions and approached two Australians waiting at a bus.
“Ap Urdu bolte hai;” he asks. The two Australians just stare at him.
“Spreken sie Deutsch?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
“Parlez-Vous Français?” No response.
“Sabes hablar español.” Still nothing.
The tourist left frustrated. The first Australian turned to the second and said, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”
Some churches provide English conversation classes for migrants who struggle with speaking English. Would you believe that some of our ESL teachers received some training from a professional linguistics teacher? This professional explained, “In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” One of the smart alecs from our ESL teachers piped up, “Yeah, right.”
I have a basic point to make: Effectively communicating with people across cultures involves more than just words.
Start with the following set of words: ‘She says she’s been in agony for three hours’. Now say these same words in four different ways:
- As a straight statement
- As a question
- Indicating that you don’t believe her
- Indicating that you are shocked that this has been allowed to happen
Think about how these words were communicated?
What things change with each different way of saying this same set of words?
Repeat the exercise noting such things as tone of voice, emphasis, volume and speed.
Notice how tone of voice, emphasis and volume differs for each type of communication. You are using exactly the same words and grammar, but by using a different tone of voice, different emphasis, different volume and different speed you convey very different meanings. Now tone of voice, emphasis, volume and speed are what we call paralinguistic features. It is not so much the words themselves but these paralinguistic features that communicate what we are really trying to say and how we feel. We use not merely words but also such things as intonation, emphasis, volume and speed to communicate politeness, apology, anger, sorrow, anxiety, uncertainty, interest or lack of it, disagreement, criticism or urgency.
This makes communication more tricky. When you are speaking to people from a non-English speaking background you may only be conscious of trying to put words together in a certain way. However, in reality you also, often unconsciously, depend on intonation, emphasis, volume and speed to get across what you are trying to say and how you feel. For a person from a non-English speaking background it’s hard enough just trying to figure out what the words you are using mean – both individually and when combined in a sentence. But what makes it harder is that they are not familiar with the way in which we use intonation, emphasis, volume and speed and we are not familiar with the way they use these same paralinguistic features.
Each language has its own intonation or tune. In English we use language tunes pretty sparingly. In Vietnamese, by contrast, the tune or tone is part of each word. So, for example, the sound ma in Vietnamese may mean ‘ghost’, ‘horse’, ‘appearance’, ‘cheek, ‘rice seedling’, ‘but’, ‘which’ or ‘tomb’, depending on whether it is said with a high rising, low falling, low rising, low broken, high broken or mid-level tone. People speaking a tonal language have to get the tone of each word absolutely right in order for a word to mean what they want it to mean.
Say something friendly to someone using a few sentences. When we want to express friendliness it is common for us to use a flow of rising and falling tones. But in Vietnamese every word involves a tune or tone so it is clearly impossible to express friendliness in the same way. Consequently, when we hear people like the Chinese and Vietnamese using their tonal language it may sound to us brusque, imperious or even angry.
Have you noticed that the normal volume people use when speaking their languages varies from culture to culture. English speakers generally speak more quietly than the speakers of most other languages. We are prone to draw wrong conclusions when we hear other people speaking in a way we regard as being too loud. For example, we might think they are angry, over-emotional, threatening, irrational or simply bad-mannered. But in a tonal language the obvious way to express the importance of what you are trying to say is by raising the volume.
There’s another thing about how we communicate that is also highly cultural. In most European languages like English it is normal to state your main point right at the start and then to illustrate it or explain it further. For example, I made it clear at the beginning that effectively communicating with people across cultures involves more than just words and I have been illustrating and explaining this. When I was in Pakistan I had to learn that people don’t present the main point near the beginning of a conversation. A pastor would come to visit me. I’d organise for a cup of chae (tea) to be brought and some food. We’d sit and talk, small talk about families and general chitchat. Half an hour passes by, an hour and I’m still wondering why he’s come to see me. The fact is that in many other languages people structure their conversation very different. Most people in the world in which we live find it more normal to set out the preliminary arguments and illustrations first, working up to the main point as a conclusion. English speakers easily loose patience and may even jump to the conclusion that their guest has nothing important to say and may switch off before the key point is reached.
There’s something else about the way we communicate that is highly cultural. In English it is considered normal and polite for only one person to speak at a time and for people to pause to allow each other to speak. In some cultures talking at the same time as another person and talking over them is regarded as friendly and polite, and proof that you are really listening. This is what is called “high involvement style.” You demonstrate you are interested and listening by getting actively involved in the conversation, rather than just passively sitting there and waiting for the other person to dry up. But in our culture we often misunderstand non-English speaking background people when they act like this and may consider them to be aggressive and pushy. Of course, there are yet other cultures in which people demonstrate their respect for you by remaining completely silent when you speak and even perhaps avoiding eye contact. Again you might misconstrue this as disinterest if you don’t understand the cultural difference.
So there are two wrong assumptions to avoid:
a. Don’t assume that our conventions for how to communicate are universal.
b. Don’t assume that we can gauge a NESB person’s behaviour or personality on the basis of our conventions for how to communicate.
Clearly effective communication across cultures involves more than just words.
Paul said a similar thing when he reflected upon how the church in Thessalonica/Salonica was planted:
For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. (1 Thess 1:4-6)
This is all the more crucial when we are talking about communicating the gospel across cultures. The words we use to communicate the gospel are, of course, of immense importance. But we must make sure our gospel comes to people “not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction”. We must make sure that those with whom we relate and communicate will remember “how we lived among them for [their] sake”.
It’s one thing to talk about the different ways in which people communicate across cultures. But at the end of the day what profoundly matters is that we go to people in the power of the Holy Spirit and with deep convictions which come from a thorough knowledge and understanding of God’s Word. What profoundly matters is how we live and behave among people. Do they sense that for all our cross-cultural clumsiness we truly love and value them?
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